Friday, November 13, 2020

updated 18th of September 2021 ENDLESS ENIGMA OF Christie Aphrodite re: "Got Priv" Video by , And the Guardian "just froze". Casting THE PRICELESS PEARL AT SWINE the Misundersandings with Christie Aphrodite

ENDLESS ENIGMA OF CHRISTIE APHRODITE: 

 lyrics to 

Emerson, Lake and Palmer - The Endless Enigma (Complete)

 

  "I've seen paupers as kings
Puppets on strings
Dance for the children who stare
You must've seen them everywhere"

 

Update 2-17-21  Near the end of that video, that I had NOT really wanted to look at, until now, she just happened to manage to pull the "heart strings" of a Calico cat that looks almost identical to my since deceased cat named  Checkers who was most likely euthanized in 1986 because the wicked stepmother of that household  didn't want the yippy chiwuahwa getting mauled. 


BIG BITTERSWEET REQUIEM OF ALL ATTACHMENT, TRIBUTE, MIA CULPA, LOVE LETTER & to some degree A hate letter to solar return (somewhat astrotwin sister).  Mostly this blog post is to describe conflicted feelings about someone.


I have mostly a platonic crush not really a romantic crush.  I couldn't imagine getting along with her in the same household. I really don't have a romantic crush.  The purpose of this blogp ost is to express conflicted strong feelings.


SHE WAS BORN a Year after me on the day when a traumatized child toddler  me was gifted a Teddy Bear

https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2020/11/mirror-mirror.html

 

She gets this BAHAI concept BETTER than MOST all #fakeBahais I grew up around : " It is certain that in this wonderful new age the development of medical science will lead to the doctors’ healing their patients with foods. For the sense of sight, the sense of hearing, of taste, of smell, of touch—all these are discriminative faculties, their purpose being to separate the beneficial from whatever causeth harm. Now, is it possible that man’s sense of smell, the sense that differentiates odours, should find some odour repugnant, and that odour be beneficial to the human body? Absurd! Impossible! In the same way, could the human body, through the faculty of sight—the differentiator among things visible—benefit from gazing upon a revolting mass of excrement? Never! Again, if the sense of taste, likewise a faculty that selecteth and rejecteth, be offended by something, that thing is certainly not beneficial; and if, at the outset, it may yield some advantage, in the long run its harmfulness will be established.

And likewise, when the constitution is in a state of equilibrium, there is no doubt that whatever is relished will be beneficial to health. Observe how an animal will graze in a field where there are a hundred thousand kinds of herbs and grasses, and how, with its sense of smell, it  snuffeth up the odours of the plants, and tasteth them with its sense of taste; then it consumeth whatever herb is pleasurable to these senses, and benefiteth therefrom. Were it not for this power of selectivity, the animals would all be dead in a single day; for there are a great many poisonous plants, and animals know nothing of the pharmacopoeia. And yet, 156 observe what a reliable set of scales they have, by means of which to differentiate the good from the injurious. Whatever constituent of their body hath decreased, they can rehabilitate by seeking out and consuming some plant that hath an abundant store of that diminished element; and thus the equilibrium of their bodily components is re-established, and they are rid of their disease."  -Abdu'l-Baha" https://reference.bahai.org/en/t/ab/SAB/sab-135.html
 
 

 

 SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PLACE IN MY HEART AS  A SACRED CLOWN SACRED FOR MY SHADOW WORK!https://mindtrickmemos.blogspot.com/2017/09/san-diego-and-akka-reflections-on.html


SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PLACE IN MY HEART AS SACRED CLOWN SACRED FOR MY SHADOW WORK!https://mindtrickmemos.blogspot.com/2017/09/san-diego-and-akka-reflections-on.html

 


 

 re: "Got Priv" Video by Christie Aphrodite, And the Guardian "just froze". Casting THE PRICELESS PEARL AT SWINE the Misunderstandings with Christie Aphrodite  updated 12:00 PM  4TH OF February 2021

 

Painful Struggle MUSIC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMM78bVXrOs

 


 

 

 MORE EDITS T.B.A. (THIS IS A DIFFICULT ENTRY)

 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZudHYTya-dQ

 

The Velvet Underground & Nico "I'll Be Your Mirror" (Warhol film footage)


 

The Velvet Underground Lyrics

"I'll Be Your Mirror"

I'll be your mirror
Reflect what you are, in case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that you're home
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you
I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty that you are
But if you don't let me be your eyes
A hand in your darkness, so you won't be afraid
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you
I'll be your mirror

 

Its extraordinarily important for me to communicate why I have a fascination for this woman Christie Aphrodite and why I apparently teeter TO and FRO   in an emotional rollercoaster feeling absolutely triggered  for  good, bad, and ugly by this woman's great work.

Its difficult, but a very necessary challenge because this Nutty old chick is such a brilliant emotional roller coaster to me.

Christie & Russ Tucson Arizona 02-22-07 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkJjUa7bp-4&t=0s San Diego Minute Woman nutty Sanctimonious Uber Karen & her bloated pride is so beautifully off the charts.  "I can actually see the [Mexican Border] from my house"  LOL just like Sara Palin can see Russia from her house in Alaska!


I love her for flaws, the righteous indignation, the comedy and tragedy alike.


She really goes through an enormously comprehensive full spectrum of various drama in relentless restless persistent videos to really inspire me
 to reflect.



 


 

Christie Aphrodite is my Soul Sister in Merry good Pranks & Soul Sister in Crime.   She is a Quintessential sacred clown woman who is a Quintessential component to my shadow work.  That is to say, her prattling helps me owning up and healing some of my difficult Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder issues).   

She went on and on in that last video she made about saying :   "admit:  you have a crush and you're jealous because you can't hold a job and no one will fuck you"  her famous last words were "you want to use me for your gratification.  I am not your punching bag"

 

And truth be told NO no,  Christie Aphrodite is not the object of my jealousy or resentment, rather some of her diverse drama queen /Prima donna/ Cinderella madness comedy and tragedy videos are what brilliantly takes the edge of jealousy out of my soul.  I incited that last grand finality video to incite her wrath to hear her go off on a combative rant.


  Her comic relief "takes the piss" out of  some other people from my past I was relentless brainwashed to resent with a fucking passion from a very early age.

If Christie only knew the Stark MAD obscene contrast of how shitty I was treated by my family relative to how some peers and others were treated and respected at the exclusion of me deliberately by my own parents,  IF SHE knew some of the more financially privileged and favored cousins, peers, and favored step siblings.  

If only Christie knew the kind of relentless real abandonment anxiety alarms and triggers that go off in fight, flight, fawn or fornicate mode, maybe she'd see her clown antics and goofiness from my perspective as respectable relief taking the edge off of the obscene stark condescending injustices I experienced growing up, and know damn well I'm really not jealous of her at all. 

This lady is such a mad prattling goofy clown and a comedian to me and I love her for that reason alone, but there are fundamental non-negotiable unequivocal flaws I despise with intense prejudice. 

However even that disgust and discovery of flaws is a form OF  relief and eradication of jealousy and resentment, because by observing her sometimes I perceive how I possibly might be flawed just like her.    

Hopefully she can see the part of me that politely prefaces the truth of both my perspective and her perspective as truly unknown from the other ends of communication. And that I really do not judge. 

And those flaws of her's that I take issue with is primarily being some weird inability to raise her daughters with their fathers with such rough weird god-only knows disruptive cruelty that was done to them because mom and dad were estranged.

Its not rocket science to conclude That the whole  minutemen movement vigilante group of "patriot" & "faketriots" / fiasco shit that went down was a recipe for disaster.   Yet she was zealously involved in it with 15 to 10  years ago obviously with strange bedfellows by design.  WHY? should this be obvious?    Everyone with half a brain knows that cheap Migrant Mexican farm labor into the USA especially (from both legals and some illegals) have always been  financial double edge sword when talking about the immigration issues.   There's pressure that they keep flowing in.  So by design the vigilante nature of the modern minutemen bullshit from the 2000's designed to run up against a brick wall and fail.   YET her audience is expected to believe good little innocent Christie had no complicity whatsoever?  

 But that fiasco of the minutemen wasn't quite a complete fiasco, because good old Christie did zealously rightfully proclaim these Mexican immigrants were smuggling and encouraging teen prostitution in an outdoor whorehouse from Drug Cartels, where such human trafficking was done where they were most likely forced or extremely coerced into slavery as whores for teh drug cartels.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOzefdaYWDU

https://anticonformityrage.blogspot.com/2019/12/why-i-think-raza-mexican-azatlan.html

see "Juarez missing women" https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=+%22Juarez+missing+women%22+&pbjreload=102 & various Mexican Drug Cartel gangster documentaries all over the internet to see what I mean. 

 All the complexities and constant relentless self reflecting brutal honesty that the tall bright eyed funny lanky comedian, the primadonna old High School MVP Softball Pitcher, the overbearing mean NIMBY "UBER Karen!, that beautiful  dorky goofy chick prattles on and on on and on about is PRICELESS therapeutical entertainment to me

 

 

,  because that's what I do inside my head too, except not with that feminine uber Karen talent, that starn hardball thrower, furiously throwing curve balls as a star pitcher,   that Scolding Maternal Kung Fu martial art MindFuck TALENT with little belittling pissed off triggers (that in my twisted mind perceive threatening to some degree) are difficult to describe. 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=famous+pitchers+of+all+time+softball&pbjreload=102
 

Its a mad Sun Virgo thing  with some serious Mutable planets (especially in Jupiter & Neptune Sagittarius & Saturn in Gemini too) of the 1971 & 1972 people.    I don't know how anyone else without those mad placements could possibly understand. 

 "When the truth is found to be lies.  Don't you want somebody to love? "

 






 When the truth of how "the deplorables" & "the plebians" those detested by snobs as the "lower classes" fumbling and stumbling in bumkin' halfwit anguish find Lies "Don't you want somebody to love?

Karma, choices, intentions...could there be more to it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsqxFyR9d1g

 

Painful Struggle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMM78bVXrOs

Trying to explain the Orchestra of some of her rants in her mind to me:

 "Painful Struggle"  By The Advancement"


 She can sometimes be a psychedelic Queen right on stage with Grace Slick in 1965 and That music played while she goes off on a beautiful rant kind of really strikes a nerve in my heart. 

 Listen to to this video with that "Painful Advancement" to get a sense for th woman's great big beautiful heart:



"His Holiness Baha’u’llah has greatly strengthened the cause of women, and the rights and privileges of women is one of the greatest principles of Abdu’l-Baha. Rest ye assured! Ere long the days shall come when the men addressing the women, shall say: ‘Blessed are ye! Blessed are ye! Verily ye are worthy of every gift. Verily ye deserve to adorn your heads with the crown of everlasting glory, because in sciences and arts, in virtues and perfections ye shall become equal to man, and as regards tenderness of heart and the abundance of mercy and sympathy ye are superior’." – Paris Talks, pp. 184–185.


 

 

IN my mind she is a mad Drama Queen who dramatizes  the complete gamut of emotional roller coasters that go on in my head with the same momentum, but not quite as severely out of my mouth and voice,  of some kind OF crucial self reflection from within to exorcise some  women of my past who were abusive that I was wrongfully trained to perceive as  the most conceited ridiculously over privileged snobby stuck up evil cunts imaginable.  Christie puts out enough extreme amount of video content to observe myself  perceiving all those triggers of  why I have emotions of     adoration, love, hate, despise, fear, and absolutely laugh & laugh, and wish for the best,  with the most booming laughter ever in total irony.   

At least In my  reflecting introspective triggered mind, and quite possibly many others she is a treasure trove of multiple personalies:     She will go from "Bobby Dooley" https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bobbie+dooley  to "Carol Burnett"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AGaSl0TdXM to Robert Crumb's Sasquatch women 


  , to Lady Galadreal   https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=lady+galadriel, to Nellie Olson https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Nellie+Oleson ,   To sheena Queen of the Jungle  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbACcu_DFwU ,  to Aileen Wuornos (given that she once accused me of saying Elliot Roger was my hero that's not true) ,   to Princess Diana, to Super Barbie Doll Cheer Leader, to my mother's clasmate "Too Tall Toledo", to Alice in Wonderland,  back to super barbie doll cheer leader batting her green blue eyes and rolling her smirking grinning face,  to the utmost soft spoken Fairy Godmother, to Cinderella,  to snivelling weeping pitiful little  scared girl in dire need of sympathy and suport, TO damsel in distress at the grip of tyrannical King Kong or  giant beet red Efreeti on the cover of AD&D 1st Editions Original Dungeon Master's Guide,

 


 

, to haggard old miserable chain smoking crone, to Nurse Ratchet, to some benevolent Baby Sitter from my past as a child, oh and OF course how could I possibly forget? Sara Conner (Linda Hamilton) From the Terminator Movies, and the television show BIONIC WOMAN FROM THE 1970'S  


  


 
and back again to all of those characters and caricatures again and again, and many more including Snow White and and her band of dwarf followers,  (oh and of course Martha Stewart home Eco home maker) and countless others I'd just as soon throw in their,  "Attack of the 50' woman",  malovent and benevolent, all  too numerous to recall all at once and record completely many more that I haven't mentioned.

 Oh why not throw in "Slymenstra Hymen" from the Punk Rock band GWAR who is there for readers to go discover on their own?  I'm sure she could be her if given that costume and enough money.

Jane Curtin (Sun Virgo woman) from SNL comedy kind of reminds me of her too : https://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Curtin,_Jane


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - SCREEN TEST - JANE CURTIN



 

I find myself raging in contempt at all the impressions of  stereotypes and archetypes of the super "femme fatale" snobby bitch she can be, especially in old videos where she's the Sandiego uber karen mom, boasting about being a trophy wife to gangsters she's been with,    and elsewhere in my head,     Yet her goofy mad booming laughter is so beautifully possessed with exactly what Alan Watts  Carl Jung describes as  "irreducible rascality" brilliantly dispelling that impression.  That contrast roller coaster is a charismatic enticement like no other to me because its so classicly crass and hilarious. 

 

 Whatever it is that creates such a glamour of diverse characters in my mind (and many other people she has pissed off over the years), Whatever that undoubtably restlessly iron fisted extremely powerful serendipity is, with such multiple personalities (from my perception and many others), I have to say there is someone reminiscent of that ability with our same solar return (hers and mind about 21 through 24 degrees Virgo)  brought to my attention by Robert Phoenix as a case for Neptune in the 9th House (near the "midheaven")  by the name of Korla Pandit https://newrepublic.com/article/122797/how-black-man-missouri-transformed-indian-liberace

 



The feelings I have towards her and the fixated fascination are not a simple matter of a fetish, crush, nor jealousy, nor entirely mother issues, but goes back deeply desire-ing to give and take respect,  to not just her and myself, but to a lot of primal memories of when I was born and a year after to the day when she was born:


I don't know what kind of horrible abandonment she experienced, but her antics mirror a lot of my own thought patterns.

Being Born with the Sun in Virgo and a lot of Virgo planets is the sign of Accountant, analysis, and audit.   She prattles a lot about the word "Soul Journey" and Solar Return Journey is apt here as we share the same birthday.


https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2020/11/mirror-mirror.html


Its important to me I describe all these conflicted feelings.  Its important I express them. This is a creative outlet and not a smear campaign.  I have to keep repeating that indeed

 

 This is a creative outlet and not a smear campaign!

 

 and emphasize that because otherwise I feel like I'm not doing a service to the legacy of all those strange circumstances from early childhood and youth why I have these conflicted feelings.   I have to face the double bind of confused volatile hostile disruptive environment that I grew up in.  And so this lady's story being so confusing from the perception of this member of her audience  is inspiring to dramatize and reflect introspectively.  She is inspiring to organize my thoughts sort of competitively.   If it was truly a malevolent stalking that I was undertaking, then there'd be dishonesty and covert clandestine pre-meditated cruel ambush with real wicked disparaging shit, which I don't believe I truly do so long as I preface  such phrases

 

"this is just my opinion"

"this is just my impression"

"these are my feelings"

 "these differing statements and situations in videos are contradicting your previous drama" 

 


There's  sort of a sexual attraction (but not enough to be deluded that she's someone I ever care to live with or be with).  I don't like to be around that caffeinated nicotine-ated cannabis loopy mood swings very often.  I grew up with a certain amount of that and I don't need that.  She did totally hand my ass to me in a sense by drawing a line, that for God's sake I hope I respect.     But there is definitely a therapeutical psychic sense that I could see some of the reasons why she has her mad antics if I were her in ways I never thought I could do for a woman.  

There's no jealousy beyond the mad sense that there's a deep respect that reflects with demand that it be respected and reflected back as such respect is reflected back by an intrinsically deep feeling.

That comprehensive thorough Virgo self micromanagement restless curiosity mixed with some sanctimonious Sagittarius/Jupiter/Moon/Neptune fire prattling, prattling, prattling     is something far beyond words:

There's some Righteous Indignations that's inspiring


 https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2020/11/mirror-mirror.html

 

 

-----------------

 OKAY THIS PART IS WHERE THE CRUX OF ETHICS OF BRINGING CHILDREN TO THIS WORLD AND ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY THAT ENTAILS REALLY GOES raging mad for me in my mind:

 https://www.bahai.org/beliefs/universal-peace/articles-resources/the-equality-men-women

Ruby Jean And Billie Lee w/ Lyrics (Seals And Crofts)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTv0K2SUlCY


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRnzh0nUPxw

And the Guardian "just froze".  - Amutu'l-Baha Ruhiyyah Khanum

 https://bahai-library.com/khanum_priceless_pearl&chapter%20=1

 


Casting THE PRICELESS PEARL AT SWINE the Misundersandings with Christie Aphrodite  

 
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” -

Matthew 7:6

 

 

FLASHBACK TO EARLY APRIL 1991 Once upon a time there was a brilliant Woman who was the The WIFE and Widow of a very great and important brilliant man who was always recognized as "The Beloved Guardian".  https://bahaichronicles.org/amatul-baha-ruhiyyih-khanum/ She told my 19 year old  self and the audience of fellow Bahai Pilgrims at the House of Abdu'l-Bahai a story of  the Beloved Guardian once discovering a story of a criminally negligent #fakebahai family abandoning their own children to "do their own thing" .   She wasn't referring to my family directly, but she might as well have been because it was most certainly warranted.   Then and there I had no way to express the fact that I had these  horrible experiences described in these links especially:

 https://bahaipdxwitness1984.wordpress.com/2020/08/30/big-quote-where-shoghi-effendi-kind-of-answers-my-own-statements-and-concerns/


https://bahaipdxwitness1984.wordpress.com/2020/10/15/939/


When reputation is shit status by birth from too many disgusting memories of child abuse that were not my choice,   then to some degree its my karma to that reputation and status becomes inverted towards those less fortunate.  Its blissfully tempting to no longer care about "reputation" in  mainstream community, but rather to invert reputation to some degree in total Vulgarity and contrarian anguish (the path of Loki or the Heyoka).  In many ways I'm still a Bahai kind of on the fringe feeling obligated to deliver urgent babies from bathwater to that oonly eccentric scholars of astrology, metaphysics, and psychology can possibly appreciate. 

Obviously I can be too rude for a lot of peoples's taste, but 1 man's rudeness is another's kindness..

 

 More Info on Ruhyah Khanum  "Why the Guardian did not write a will"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7YxVoyYYEg

 


 "And The Guardian just Froze"  - Amatu'l-Baha RK


1 peer comrade & fellow pilgrim  Keith T. Huddleston, who served in the Bahai World Center Garden department about the same time I did, in particular who was there, who didn't know exactly the kind of  heavy burden on my heart then and there, but knew  exactly the common deep heart reverence for the weight of Amatu'l-Baha RK ' s  words witnessing her speak.  

 

We (Keith Huddleston and I)  had a confrontation after that speech of Amatu'l-Baha R.K. , seeing as we were from 2 different families of 2 different backgrounds.   

 

I'm sure he will never forget the ensuing "privilege" contempt I expressed toward him  after a culmination of a lot of stark contrast between my fumblefuck halfwit family of first generation Bahais and a lot of filthy rich wealthy arrogant Bahais I've had met in my entire life.    

 When reputation is shit status by birth from too many disgusting memories of child abuse that were not my choice,   then to some degree its my karma to that reputation and status becomes inverted towards those less fortunate.  Its blissfully tempting to no longer care about "reputation" in  mainstream community, but rather to invert reputation to some degree in total Vulgarity and contrarian anguish (the path of Loki or the Heyoka).  In many ways I'm still a Bahai kind of on the fringe feeling obligated to deliver urgent babies from bathwater to eccentric scholars of astrology and metaphysics like you can appreciate.

Obviously I can be too rude for a lot of peoples's taste, but 1 man's rudeness is another's kindness..

The peer Bahai World Centre pilgrim on our pilgramage to Bahai Holy places  was April 1991 is 1 certain Keith T. Huddleston author of "Gathering of the Clouds"  https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2018/06/uranus-shining-on-sun-of-horoscope-of.html

 

son a Persian Immigrant woman from Iranian provence of Yazd and  John Huddleston retired (perhaps even deceased) British employee working out of Washington D.C. with these gangsters:  https://www.corbettreport.com/so-what-does-the-world-bank-do-exactly/

 

IF ONLY this woman "Christie Aphrodite' knew something of these experiences, really in mutual respect! Maybe she wouldn't be so absolutely convinced I hate her, when I don't? 

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD there's this deep Maternal approval incitement that I don't deny I'm addicted to chasing.  So when she did her own little re-visiting San Diego Videos: with the similarities of the Shores of Akka   https://minI had to respond dtrickmemos.blogspot.com/2017/09/san-diego-and-akka-reflections-on.html



 


 If only for the Love of God she knew all the real reasons why I would dare make these comments having witnessed such evidence of the optimal & ideal situation of true loving families of Bahai Marriage? yet so wrongfully deprived of parents who resemble such I am worthy of beinBahai husgband material?  If only she knew  such sense for truth of an optimal and ideal situation to bring children into this world?  If only she knew so absolutely distant from my origins?  and tragedy of being abused and born into a family of #fakebahais: ?

 

[ME] TO CHRISTIE:
 you gotta be kidding me if you're not thick skinned by now over these stupid prattling comments of conspiracy hypothesis about you. You know who you are. You don't pretend I know who you are. AND I REALLY do not pretend I know who you are. I do have that level OF humility BELIEVE IT OR NOT! I'm done accusing you of being a bad person or writing shit as though you might take it as though I know anything beyond some of what you say that VERY temporarily pisses me off or triggers me to organize my thoughts by writing down how I feel.
 
 
 
 


For the LOVE OF GOD I beg you GOD to restrain me from  CASTING "THE PRICELESS PEARL" at swine here and its really too bad Christie Aphrodite she has to have the cover image of a this pig nose funny face here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APQvNzg-Uck




 " I'll never apologize for being suspicious about anyone who brings children to the world and becomes estranged from the children's other parents, knowing how shitty that estrangement feels [as a child from the receiving and of SUCH ABUSE!]"

​I'll never apologize for being highly suspicious of single parents who, unless they are widows or widowers, failing at family planning in an essentially important way.  And I mean that unapology with a passion so true to MY Soul Journey Essence AND the absolute Magnum Opus of my Soul.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APQvNzg-Uck

55:00  COLD WRATH  relentless SCOLDING  "If you believe anything I've ever done is fake GTFO"  - Christie Aphrodite    SPOKEN LIKE a NARCISSIST discovering THOSE SHE HAS deluded are sharing her SHARED DELUSIONS aren't really sharing them as much as she wants to believe.    (totally pissed off that anyone would dare claim to be suspicious or question her 13 years of persistent reality show videos, 10k subscribers, after a schizm within the San Diego minute man movement in 2007, radio show charisma, and making a name for herself as a martyr whistleblower against Mexican Drug cartel child trafficking, various high publicity radio shows with schizm after schizm within these circles of psyops and God only knows what kind of intrigue constantly, constantly explaining herself etc.)


https://anticonformityrage.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-trial-of-christie-aphrodite.html    

 

revisiting ultra simple version of "The trial of Christie Aphrodite"

http://christieaphrodite.com/how-activism-killed-me/


 http://christieaphrodite.com/cyberstalking-games/
 

4:20 FAMOUS QUOTE in this video:

 WhistleBlower Christie Aphrodite - How Activism Killed Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejAfXq3x3IM&t=54s

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejAfXq3x3IM&t=260s


4:20 I fell off the applecart and was born yesterday and go totally deaf at the 4:20+ time mark. No not sweet Christie Aphrodite, never any "priv" or "lifetime actor" programming relative to someone in your loyal fan club cult, the plebs, who knows you built yourself entirely on your own, are the absolute proudest class act workaholic working class hero heroine ever born, are their guru who teaches her audience how she pulls yourself up by your boot straps, and don't have any "understanding" with someone behind the scenes with all sorts of intrigue and "limited hangout" & "controlled opposition" stipulations like all the rest.  Excommunicate em' from your audience if they ever find that time stamp & quote.

 

 " when all of this started I was very programmed into the system.  I believed that,   You know I was  brought to to believe that my family "Military General" and Seal ONI (Office of Naval Intelligence)  and Secret Service are heroes and then I found out UM . . . that it wasn't true " - Christie Aphrodite

 

https://anticonformityrage.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-trial-of-christie-aphrodite.html


 
 
 

Basic Tips for Surviving the New Normal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V-LUNE9sKY&lc=Ugy9MuQIi9AsDehaKCp4AaABAg.9Fs-iyB_ZPo9G0qGHgcqYU

 

 
2:08:00 [ME]   "They'd" The powers that be that plausiblly hypothetically trained you to be plausibly and hypothetically BE  a "lifetime actor" (according to Joe Atwill's description of a "lifetime actor). IMHO you're quite plausibly and hypothetically programmed to BE 1. And you would hypothetically plausibly most likely get paid from your hypothetical handlers being: those connected from the gangster military family and military community and thus military industrial complex you've admitted your from, to attract a very specific niche audience and honeypot that audience whether you do it consciously or unconsciously. You might somewhat LARP just a certain amount. There's been tons of LARPS being exposed as LARPS that honeypot government people. They're Larping away all the time on social media. You've had 13+ years of making a name for yourself since all that minute men schizm shit went down? That is DAMN "persistent". OKAY? RE: "a glimpse of who I am"? I have some bizarre circumstances that got me here too. I like to give you a little bit of a hard time. I do that to take the edge off of that part of me that's got "abandonment anxiety" that would otherwise blindly fawn at you listing your privileges, and naively and gullibly perceive and believe you do everything with perfect TALENTS opportunities and situations I don't have and never had, which might mean you'd never respect me if you were to ever meet me in real life. You see how that "HypervigilaAnt" mind agitated is a mixed blessing and curse? You kind of likewise portray a struggle to deal with a delicate balance of trying to juggle abandonment anxiety and self respect without sounding too boastful, extremely exaggerated, and conceited, but then you also own up to it all with beautiful humble honesty about some of your flaws like a beautiful roller coaster of giggles and booming laughter. I love that, but its kind of a valuable entertainment gimick asset Isn't it? You think? Its a "role" unconscious or subconscious you're kind of compelled and coralled and cajoled into habitually? Isn't that? Maybe there's a certain Jupiter conjunct moon that does that? I remember this woman whose is a Sun Pisces and Scorpio moon conjunct Jupiter similar to that that I once had a real head over heals crush on. Whose since went on to try and save Columbia River Salmon  and she was literally like Pippy Longstalking born in 1970. (Pisces Sun , Scorpio Moon (same a Ruth Ginsberg). Anyways (never mind). There's no head over the heels crush nor infatuation with you because I'm old enough to know better you're not my type, but I hope you see that's the humanitarian reality of someone like me and maybe others who you might perceive as alleged "stalkers" in your audience. We're not all bad, we just prattle back as you prattle back kind of impulsively.
 
[ME] Before you make your next video. Please read carefully: About the time when I experienced homelessness 3 months into it when I first really got fascinated with your videos, when I really faced emergency cold weather survival was when I noticed your 22nd of December 2015 video "Karma, choices, intentions...could there be more to it?" I juxtaposed that on a blog post with your horoscope next to one of my blogs called whoisteal blogspot com "Teal Swan" on blog.   https://whoisteal.blogspot.com/2015/12/solar-virgo-saturn-gemini-vs-solar.html    Interesting. Well here's the catch behind the conflicted impulse I have to troll you: I really DO NOT think 100% "the only way something good happens in someones life is because their family that disowned them somehow played a hand at "giving" you whatever you you have worked your ass off for." you just happen to offer an opportunity for me to challenge that impulsive cynicism of mine having been overwhelmed and outnumbered as black sheep pariah with origins surrounded by real Goldy locks princess programmed "golden child" spoiled ridiculously overprivilged bitches my entire life. Not my mom but my mom's jealousy of other women, my stepmom, my step sister, an ex-girlfriend Cousins galore, and my dead Aunt who was blond bombshel trophy wife to a filthy rich Uncle in-law. I had to disclose that. I had to let it all out and wear it all like a crown of thorns! You agitating me is enticing. And so I had to reflect on myself in a creative outlet and come forward and whistleblow A LOT of cruel abuse. Here's what I wrote about you when I doxed some very important origins of a lot of family shit not many else cares to HEAR about me in a meaningful way: on the main bahaipdxwitness1984 wordpress dot com blog wrestling with some serious child abuse recovery : "Even though I am on record making a lot of harsh criticisms to & about Christie Aphrodite linked above & below here, I am also on record making a lot of praise of Christie Aphrodite because her personality is similar enough to mine in Valiant brutally honest self reflection in such whimsical clown-like humor that she offers a glimpse of what it must have been like if I were born a girl and grew up to be a sexually attractive woman with a biological urge to have children a.s.a.p.. Its,no coincidence to me on my 1st birthday the day Christie Aphrodite was born, I was gifted a teddy bear that is kind of reminiscent why I was fascinated with her online content. There is a stark contrast in some of my observations of Christie Aphrodite good, bad, amd ugly but at least these observations are an introspective outlet and release to return the favor of such public honest[that you give]. Through little old me observing some of Christy Aphrodite’s wishy washy Dissociative identity prankster Clown drama along with the work of Cathy O’Brien I kind of learn a level of respect to these women and refrain from objectifying them as “prime real estate brood mares” that I was condemned and cockblocked away from being their “proverbial stud alpha”, in ways I thought I never could. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder afterall and midlife requires a little bit of calibration when the average woman my age is almost post menopause age :" Its kind of a bittersweet dance. And it was fun making that meme of you as Lady Galadriel over (Cate Blanchett's face) and I as Frodo over Elijah Woods with a shit eating grin looking over "The mirror of Galdriel". You're like this bizarre version of Snow White attracting some bizarre version of little Dwarfs. I mean you're really like a dose of good psychadelics sometimes. LMAO
 
 
 
 
@robbys lilshadow Thank you! I appreciate you sharing.
 
 

 
[ME] CUI BONO? "who stands to gain" Let me put it another way and I know you're probably going to write off what I'm saying out and tell me its my bit of petty jealousy or paranoia, but trust me on this I'm not now with this comment. That's not the case here. Why on earth would a daughter of a special forces unit (such as Navy Seals) who survived the Vietnam war, not have certain "guardian comrades" watching your back and ensuring some of your safety and certain stipulations of an agenda? regardless of whether or not you ever knew him personally or not. I didn't derive these kind of suspicions from you alone by any stretch and has nothing to do with saying you're lazy at all by any stretch, I've been paying attention to a lot of people who've made names for themselves as great truth talkers and "rebel rousers" and the whole Joe Atwill "lifetime actor" M.O.  https://www.spreaker.com/user/markdevlin/gvp-095-joe-atwill bit makes perfect sense to me. Radio host Clyde Lewis openly admitted his Mormon international background and jobs his job he hed did creating audio for the military to taunt Manuel Noriega to capture him out of Noriega. You attract a very specific audience and its important to me to let other audience member remind you and them we're not all stupid with comments like these.
 
 [ME]
Since you asked, I really don't try and measure my life quantitively about people I "healed" or "didn't heal" and "harmed" like you Christie. I did what I thought was right for me and preventing harm for the past 6 years. I tried to do the most amount of good, for the least amount of harm. Since I'm in a complete doublebind, catch 22, damned if I do try and hold a taxpaying job and a career that pays for a big house, time and energy spent towards that has proven that's an endless disrespect for my efforts and pointless carrot being dangled by employers while acting like a stupid bunny to the predator to those asshoes are and always were to me. So I take the SSDI for their fraud failure to see CPTSD "double bind' situations from early childhood and a mamby pamby psychopathic parents. as asshole tax against those who tried to kill me with their medical genocidal practice. Me posting big long testimony/ whistleblowing against the scum of my past is a warning to The Bahai community of the Portland Oregon: to go EAT CROW if stupid child abusing parents think children WON'T remember their wickedness. I have an understanding of natural cures pretty damn keen and stealthy and restlessly astute kind of like you, but I don't get the fanfare and appreciation because.  I probably don't have your charisma. I produced a bunch art online, try to stay healthy and get plenty of exercise, fresh air, bike to swimming holes in summer, and sometimes find accurate ways to recount my horrible childhood for the public because any official or unofficial "professisonal" psychiatrist or psychologist would gladly deny the child abuse, cover-it all, do total cancel culture on me and make me disappear at least as bad, if not worse, and far more forgotton and persecuted and abandoned than you. I dare to say: way worse than you ever would.
 
[ME] TO CHRISTIE:
 you gotta be kidding me if you're not thick skinned by now over these stupid prattling comments of conspiracy hypothesis about you. You know who you are. You don't pretend I know who you are. AND I REALLY do not pretend I know who you are. I do have that level OF humility BELIEVE IT OR NOT! I'm done accusing you of being a bad person or writing shit as though you might take it as though I know anything beyond some of what you say that VERY temporarily pisses me off or triggers me to organize my thoughts by writign down how I feel.
 
 
 
 
BAHAI WRITINGS ON FAILED FAMILY PLANNING
 
 “We
shrink, for very shame, from treating of the
subject of
boys.”
(Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 58)
QUOTE FROM BAHAI WRITINGS: “ The gentle teacher promoteth the children of the
school to the lofty altitude and the bestowal of the trainer placeth the little child upon the
throne of ether. Therefore, it is demonstrated and proven that minds are different in the
original entity or nature, and that education commandeth a decided and great influence.
Were there no educator, all souls would remain savage, and were it not for the teacher, the
children would be ignorant creatures.
It is for this reason that, in this New Cycle, education and training are recorded in the Book
of God as obligatory and not voluntary. That is, it is enjoined upon the father and mother,
as a duty, to strive with all effort to train the daughter and the son, to nurse them from the
breast of knowledge and to rear them in the bosom of sciences and arts. Should they neglect
this matter, they shall be held responsible and worthy of reproach in the presence of the
stern Lord.
This is a sin unpardonable, for they have made that poor babe a wanderer in the Sahara of
ignorance, unfortunate and tormented; to remain during a lifetime a captive of ignorance
and pride, negligent and without discernment. Verily, if that babe depart from this world at
the age of infancy, it is sweeter and better. In this sense, death is better than life;
deprivation than salvation; non-existence lovelier than existence; the grave better than the
palace; and the narrow, dingy tomb better than the spacious, regal home; for in the sight of
mankind that child is abased and degraded and in the sight of God weak and defective. In
gatherings it is ashamed and humiliated and in the arena of examination subdued and
defeated by young and old. What a mistake is this! What an everlasting humiliation!
12
(Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith - Abdu'l-Baha Section, p. 398)”
 
 
 https://bahaipdxwitness1984.wordpress.com/2020/08/30/big-quote-where-shoghi-effendi-kind-of-answers-my-own-statements-and-concerns/
Woe to the wicked sick psychopath / criminally negligent
parents and their deranged black sheep / golden child injustice
programming trauma mind control done to their own children,
because they unconsciously hate their children, all who will all grow
up to remember and account for your sick wicked ways as the
complete pedophile enabling derelict narcissistic dipshit dumbfucks
you all are . . . .and account for each and every one of your disgusting transgressions against
children’s rights. Your cruelty will never be forgotten.
 
 updated 15:50 14th November 2020
 Christie Aphrodite
Here's why I'm done with you. No decent human says the things you do about a single mother. Ever. Or any mother...especially mothers you DO NOT KNOW AND NEVER DID!!! You clearly are tying to attack me to get back at your own mother. I am not your punching bag. You are fucked in the head to even think what you said last night and those other times about my children are acceptable at all. Good bye. Take your hate out elsewhere. You aren't here for anything other than your own gratification. You are beyond learning how to heal yourself and I want nothing to do with people like you who REFUSE to grow and keep blaming everyone else. Suck it. Do NOT come back!
And think about this next time you want to talk shit.....Can you name ONE person who has forgiven you and given you as many chances as I have? Exactly, you can't. I might be the most forgiving person you or anyone knows. I mean if I would do that for a fucktard stranger like yourself, imagine how I treat people I actually love and care about. However, When I'm done, I'm done. You crossed my boundaries way too often for me to accept that you have any hope for decency and camaraderie on any level. You are dead to me, just like that neighbor who thought it would be fun to call me names. I will not feed her or you. Go get a hobby and take care of YOURSELF for the first time in your life. Life time dependency turns people into what you have become and you are NOT my responsibility. Go accomplish something. Good luck.
@Christie Aphrodite All right since you bothered to reply to these comments which were made before your Ultimatum video I'm going to mention anticonformityrage dot blogspot com where I posted an entry entitled: " And the Guardian "just froze". Casting THE PRICELESS PEARL AT SWINE the Misundersandings with Christie Aphrodite " " where I GIVE 1 last piece of my mind about the context of my flash backs why I hate bad family planning where parents hate each other, and in case I'm shadow banned from your youtube page, its gonna get posted somewhere else on your blogs where you can find it. Strong negative attention is better than no attention at all and its inspires me to dredge up important memories to heal my past, believe it or not. There is method to my madness. Getting scorned and scolded like you did to me, with the convenience of watching your video piecemeal to process your discerning why you seemed so angry and hurt slowly kind of helped. Thank you. My only problem with single parents, is some of them seem to think they're more important than they really are: The world doesn't revolve around bending backwards for people who have bodies which are baby making machines that manage to entice horny men into sticking their dicks into, especially since when such men then become estranged from such women whether its his faunt or her fault. IT takes 2 to tango.
 ------------------------------
 

 I don’t “stalk” this woman, I am puzzled, perplexed, and curious in such a way to discover  what it is that possesses her to get into  so many weird situations.  What gives her the zeal and moral courage?  What makes her such a target?  Why is she so relentlessly proud?  Why did she  have such halfwit flaws?  WHAT GIVES THIS WOMAN SUCH GALL? There is no answer.  That is an endless enigma as I try and resolve and forgive myself and others in my own past in this limited lifetime. 

 The Damning Dirt: https://russdove.blogspot.com/

 

especially this entry  https://russdove.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2014-08-10T14:45:00-07:00&max-results=7

Quoting last entries on https://russdove.blogspot.com/ by what appears to be Russell Dove’s last and final words on the subject of old Christie. As of 27th of January 2021 and for whatever reason her 2 daughters now into adulthood have yet to go online and say anything on the subject defending their mother's integrity.

This Russell Dove Character has since deceased.  These are some of his final entries.  He was accused of committing a lot of abuse to Christie's daughters which is pretty fucking damning. I really don't have any reason to go out on a limb promoting Christie Aphrodite's better qualities when this is so absolutely reminiscent of my mother ignoring me getting abused as a child at the mercy of my mother's pervert boyfriend's son.   I pestered Christie a lot online because I wanted to remind her at least 1 person in her audence isn't stupid.   

 Its been a pleasure and an honor to have such introspective reflection of where sanctimonious zealous righteous indignation of prattling away can take one. 

  "can't judge"  horrors of Vietnam war PTSD  (and the fact that  Christie's Dad was a Navy Seal in the proverbial "Heart Darkness" and God only knows the kind of Multiple Generational PTSD that she inherited that gives this Woman such astute clever wit SUCH OVERBEARING GALL?

 

 


 


 

 

Apocalypse Now: Marlon Brando Horror Speech


SOME OF THE FAMOUS LAST WORDS OF 1 RUSS DOVE IN THE DAMNING TRAGEDY HEART OF DARKNESS OF IT ALL (freak looks like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse.  God only knows how terrified Christie's Daughters were of the weirdo and what he did to her: : 

5th of July 2021 ALL RIGHT HERE IS WHERE iWONDER ABOUT HER  HYBSTROPHILIC DARK SIDE https://duckduckgo.com/?t=lm&q=hybristophilia&atb=v244-1&ia=web

 

AND WHAT could be a better emphasis FOR A DAUGHTER OF A NAVY SEALS DRIVEN MAD FROM THE VIETNAM WAR AS A COMBAT VETERAN THAN THIS SONG BY ALICE IN CHAINS ?
#AliceInChains #Rooster #Rock

Alice In Chains - Rooster (Official HD Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAE6Il6OTcs&list=RDuAE6Il6OTcs&start_radio=1

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHgpJWQ6RhU

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thptpyQswJ0

 

"military brat" rock stars:

 


 

 

HER VIDEO "EMBRACING YOUR INNER KILLER" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4bhGx520Pc

 "This video was from 2013 that was prompted after I chose to not be vegan anymore and wanted to take part in my own meat eating process, liberating a woodchuck..... I was blown away by the outpouring of hate....about half from vegans and half from those that think it's okay to go hire a hitman to kill their meat for them in a restaurant or grocery store... Many had gone so far as to pray for my death...hahahahaha" -Christie Aphrodite:

 

THE LIGHTING AND THE HORUS, OSIRUS, & ISIS IDOLS IN THE BACKGROUND IS CREEPY AS FUCK:

 



 Silence of the Lambs musings  

 THE IRONY OF THE WHOLE RESCUE OF THE MEXICAN GIRLS FROM HORRIBLE HUMAN TRAFFIC

THAT WAS CHRISTIE'S GREAT WORK really hits HOME!


 4:40

 

Hannibal Lecter : Narcissist or Psychopath?- by Richard Grannon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1RuaqVKfHE

 

 Christie Aphrodite and her near new year's eve "LAMB" stew:

Extra Hearty Navy Bean and Kale Soup with Chicken and Lamb  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__MWFRFgjKs

 



 

- Last Words of Russ Dove whose  been dead for the past 5 years.  

Christie's Daughters will 1 day set the record straight and defend Mommy or not and determine and set the record straight how Foster care and all those weird step parents or biological fathers treated them. 

 

TRUTH BE TOLD I never physically went near this bitch. The only terrible horrible "violations" were posting my opinions on her vids that she invited anyone to post to!

 

 accusation & claim

Much to my Chagrin with heavy heart this highly offended woman by me is convinced "I am a Stalker, He's not Just a Troll"  

 

 

NO, no I am really neither.  I am an intense self reflective perceptive astrological seeker.  I am incite-ing strong reaction.  This woman shares my 1st Solar Return Point.  I was born with my sun at 22 degrees of Virgo 15th September is my birthday 1971 _ 1 degree 23rd degree of Virgos and exemplifies and reflects the clockwork rhythm of time of how my first birthday felt and where I was in life.


  Writing negative shit and trying to defend the negative shit she said about me is pointless because she'll get defensive emotional as fuck and distort it all  and go into ultra defensive mad escalation and total irreconcilable differences


I LISTENED to her last Meltdown Video against me  scolding the shit out of me many times 


This lady is a marvel of raging  angry dialogue who is very agile with defensive angry insulting speech.  She says she was a high school MVP softball pitcher who must know how to throw curve balls and she's that way with the way she delivers dramatic rants too full of exaggerations.  Listening to her angry video about me is what Sam Vaknin might call "cold therapy" in a sense that I deal with someone hostile to me piecemeal.   verbally defensive psychological strategy and a challenge to organize my thoughts into cohesive, coherent responses to a Prattling raging of woman in her angry bitch mode is priceless.
Listening to that negative shit and trying to defend the negative shit she said about me is pointless because she'll get defensive emotional as fuck and distort it all over again and go into ultra defensive mad escalation and total irreconcilable differences the further I try to explain the situation. 



MY SERENITY IS PAYING ME to Perceive myself  AND her DEFENSIVE reaction IS introspective martial arts TO hold to the truth for my mind 42:04 I ASK "ALL RIGHT WHAT'S THE WORST SHIT I WROTE ABOUT YOU THAT'S A COMPLETE BOLDFACED LIE so I CAN RETRACT AND PLEAD ABSOLUTE FORGIVENESS?  "


1.  "How about that I wasn't homeless. Yeahh " "When the real poor people findout" veiled threat.  

There's people LARPing all the time.  


I DON'T believe ever made a blanket statement that said I was convinced she wasn't homeless.    I said SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT that FROM my perception, watching her videos, her persistent  reality show videos,    because she had all the amenities taken care of (tent shelter / car /van place to shower and place to cook) and SO WHEN she had her little experience with that bizarre character "trying to set up a bed and Breakfast"  I  was extrordinarily doubtful when she all of a sudden moved into a very nice modern house in 1 of her old videos acting as though she owned the whole place. (big 5 bedroom master bedroom jacuzzi 2 story rural Washington home).


42:00 "oh and the 'when real poor people find out they're not gonna take kindly how's that not a fuckin' veiled threat" "I'm being goddamn stalked" "chased out of town" ?  "people with facebook groups posting where we are"



THIS PRATTLING OLD CLOWN BITCH  flaunts her fucking duper's  delight and cries crocodile tears snivelling here bitch ass about living in her van, LITERALLY posts videos of her own shit in her shitbucket, just sniveling in total abject pity playing and preying off of others heart strings big time. .


IT WASN'T A VEILED THREAT, IT WAS ME BRINGING TO HER ATTentION 1 MAN'S OPINION ABOUT  A REALITY OF HOW RIDICULOUS HER BOASTING, BRAGGING sounded that PISSES OFF people far more crippled, disabled, and fucked over than she appears to be (regardless what she claims).  It was concern for her safety.  She sounded stupid from my end.  WOW imagine that someone writes an opinion and she twists like its a fucking threat.  When its simply a fucking warning from someone else whose seen how little lowlifes think of her PRATTling BULLSHIT mouth running over and over again excessively.



42:56  YOU KNOW YOU JUST MIGHT BE a little SURPRISED of how goal oriented I am and how WELL I apply real unique talents of my own for good.  IF YOU KNEW THE METHODS TO MY MADNESS AND THE METHODS if you ONLY KNEW ME.



43:05 "OH and what was the other terrible one.  OH I REMMBER, OH "


43:14 "YOU SAID THAT I USED MY CHILDREN TO SOMEHOW GET BACK AT OR DESTROY CRAZY STALKERS LIKE JEFF SHWILK:
   
   Her old vids of high publicity minuteman fight with Jeff Schwilk shows her screaming daughters in the background and its not much of a stretch the fuel of the minutemen strange bedfellow scenerios"

 https://anticonformityrage.blogspot.com/2020/11/eat-crow-were-all-limited-hangouts.html
 https://anticonformityrage.blogspot.com/2019/08/free-incel-pathology-awareness.html
 



 
 
 
 - MORE NOTES NOT MEANT TO BE COHERENT TO EVERYONE WHO READS THEM --------------
 ----------------------
  The video she made about me was pretty harsh, but I have to say  that Christie there will always be a place for her in my heart for the synchronicities of her being born on my 1st Birthday and challenging me to reflection on myself    PROJECT ON TO ME  ?   NO NO NO   HERE SHE JUST GOES OFF ABOUT HOW SHE RECOVERED FROM THE DEPTHS AND GOT HER LIFE BACK AND ALL THAT HUBRIS  THROUGH 36:00+
"YOU'VE wasted all these years when you could have been learning"  THE METHOD TO MY MADNESS, THE PLATFORM TO MY WHISTLE BLOWING IS THAT I'M COMPELLED TO RESPOND TO THIS DEFENSE OF MY OFFENSE WITH
BETTER MORE ANALYTICAL AMBITION TO WRESTLE AND ANALYZE her SPEECH.  I ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS. I TRY AND CHOOSE MY WORDS CAREFULLY.
 RIDICULOUS ACCUSATION NOT KNOWING SHIT abouT tme.  I don't give a fuck about her DADDY.  ETC. . .  . .AND THIS IS WHERE HER MARTYR and her Family's attitude of abandoning her hits a heavy heart sympathy
----------------------------------------------
 
 - MORE ROUGH NOTES NOT MEANT TO BE COHERENT TO EVERYONE WHO READS THEM --------------
 

The BELITTLE-ing gall of  overbearing bitch MOTHERS and step mother(S) of mine wERE master manipulators deceptive as fuck. AND ITS not that I'm projecting this, I'm studying her methods.   Speech  and clever word choice is power!  its obviously her own expertise talent!   Speech gymnastics and martial arts at striking a nerve, is obviously this woman's clever method of getting things she wantS that's serves her well.   I don't understand why she's so absolutely angry over the fact that people listen to her show and won't take her shit at face value.   Make a 3,000+ youtube videos and give each to 100 monkeys and one of them is going to cry ape.  BIG FUCKING DEAL!


She totally solicits feedback big time in her constant endless rants and prattling and wont' STFU in Caffinated  PRATTLING mad broken record sometimes.  THE BOASTING BRAGGING PRATTLING HYPERBOLE EXAGGERATION WITH THAT NEPTUNE IN SAGTITARIUS ALONG WITH JUPITER and THE MOON!  off THE CHARTS!   ITS so SEXY and SCARY, RIDICLOUS, HUMOROUS, AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL AND UGLY --- ALL  AT THE SAME TIME!

 
THERE'S A POINT where she's a threat and THEN SHE'S Not really a threat because she's such a pitiful scrawny lanky old dork and then she is a threat and then she's not. and that Roller Coaster is exciting.

THE METHOD TO MY MADNESS, THE PLATFORM TO MY WHISTLE BLOWING IS THAT I'M COMPELLED TO RESPOND TO THIS DEFENSE OF MY OFFENSE WITH
BETTER MORE ANALYTICAL AMBITION TO WRESTLE AND ANALYZE SPEECH.  I ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS. I TRY AND CHOOSE MY WORDS CAREFULLY.

THERE'S an educated value.  There's speech patterns that people use that I study intensely

RESPECT?   I wanted  her to be well aware there's someone in her audience who has extreme conflicted feelings about her AND WHY and respond?  I am my own guinea pig gaslighting and throwing matches into the gas igniting her wrath.     I wanted to witness my own triggers and see how they unfold and analyze them and deal with them via some kind of reaction so I LEARN TO habituallty choose my words carefully to communicate the TRUTH! AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!.   I'm someone who is motivated by other's strong reactions.  I run and am fueled by others' strong emotions.  I can't describe it any other way.

The condescenscion of overbearing bitch.  A violent bitch is something deep within my traumatized heart that I need catharsis to express myself, to react to with finesse, and agility of my own to foster, to defend myself, to fuel me, to light a candle up my ass.  Its how I run.  Its the adrenaline fix.

SHE PRODUCES TONS OF DRAMA and ITS LIKE BIG SURPRISE, SURPISE, SURPRISE TO HER, IF THE 100,000TH MONKEY OF SOME MONKEY MIGHT REACT and CALL APE!
 
OVERBEARING COMBATIVE TONES PISSES PEOPLE OFF AND THEY  FUCKING REACT and PERCEIVE HOW THEY REACT. GET OVER IT! 


SHE IS AN AGILE CHARISMA SPEAKER AND SHE KNOWS SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL MIND TRICKS JEDI MIND TRICKS.


PRATTLING GETS ME NO WHERE AND I SEE HOW SOME OF HER PRATTLING IS SHOOTING HERself IN the  FOOT.


IF SHE WANTS TO DREDGE OUT THE SPEECHES I WROTE VERBATUM  DO IT.


I did this with Erica Toussaints transcript

and I'm doing this with yours.


This lady knows how to do verbal gymnastics and Kungfu with her mouth and tongue and really push some serious buttons in mommy programmings because she's had some experience at it.


There's nothing wrong with sorting out and having an introspective perception of why someone acts the way they do or says the things they do in a hostile situation.


ITS HARD SPARRING EXERCISE TO SORT THE BABIES FROM THE BATHWATER

ITS HARD SPARRING TO RELIEVE EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT and HAVE DISCERNING sense for reality to really HEAR WHAT'S BEING SAID:


trying to defend the ALLEGED negative shit she said about me is pointless because she'll get defensive emotional as fuck and distort it all  and go into ultra defensive mad escalation and total irreconcilable differences FROM misunderstanding


  - MORE NOTES NOT MEANT TO BE COHERENT TO EVERYONE WHO READS THEM --------------

THAT OVER ARCHING ANGRY scorning ANGRY BITCH TONE THAT SCORNING MOMMY TONE OF TALKING OVER ME  reacting and the thrill the Fight or Flight mode.

overbearing mommy is something every man who wants to reclaim his balls should study intently


SHE HAS some pretty good drama acting skills whether SHE trained in acting drama classes, she studied acting on your own,  that way oR SHE just knows it from persistently manipulating people: Who knows?

  - MORE NOTES NOT MEANT TO BE COHERENT TO EVERYONE WHO READS THEM --------------
 

I LISTENED to her last Meltdown Video scolding the shit out of me many times  This lady is a marvel of raging  angry dialogue who is very agile with defensive angry insulting speech.  She says she was an MVP softball pitcher who would obviously know how to throw curve balls and she's that way with way she delivers dramatic rants absolutely too many extreme full of exaggerations to know which way to count.  

 Listening to her angry video about me is what Sam Vaknin might call "cold therapy" in a sense that I deal with someone hostile to me piecemeal.   verbally defensive psychological strategy and a challenge to organize my thoughts into cohesive, coherent responses to a Prattling raging condescending bitch is priceless.
Listening to that negative shit and trying to defend the negative shit she said about me is pointless because she'll get defensive emotional as fuck and distort it all over again and go into ultra defensive mad escalation and total irreconcilable differences the further I try to explain the situation.

Much to my Chagrin with heavy heart this highly offended woman by me is convinced I "am a Stalker, He's not Just a Troll"  "who violates her boundaries"  NO i'M fascinated.  This woman is a perplexing puzzling astrological phenomena I really get to the gist and heart of what the Solar Return point is within.

free health care doesn't happen without freedom to produce health food


Its what Richard Grannon calls  "hard sparring: verbally.  She is cold therapy.


PRATTLE "Excess of speech is a deadly poison" - Bahai Writings


Yeah I do have Mommy issues and inciting her to get all pissed ldoes do slowly, gradually, certainly provoked her to make that damn video.
WOW

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SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PLACE IN MY HEART AS SACRED CLOWN SACRED FOR MY SHADOW WORK ----
 
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